Toques & Scarves

He made the finger knitting,
I put the miles of it
together
into this
toque
(the word for a Canadian winter hat!)
and scarf!
: )

Hot Rod

My boy influences.
: )

the Importance of Parents

Things have been weird for me. Huge new changes in my perspectives, and a new phase of parenting (don't they all seem new?).
In any case my son is going through a time period that was extremely challenging and difficult for me. It was the time my mother became ill and died over a period of two years.
Somehow with my son being that age, I have been affected so intensely. Also, I have strangely "become" my mother at times, which I absolutely abhor!
This morning as I gazed out the window at my ever changing gardens, I thought about how the experience as children with our parents stays with us for our entire lives.
I think little is as affecting. Except love relationships. But not nearly as much.
I am trying to figure out how to free myself from some of the trauma of my experiences so that I can be present and joyful with my son now, so that he can grow into a love filled man, after he passes through these, such very important years of growth, from 11-16.
Love is everything.
Stuff he made this year, for presents (and I helped):

struggles

transition change growth love

All things happen the way they are meant to...
All is good. : ) We are all learning all the time!
Maybe it's been the long winter-
I've had monster moments too. : (
It's called just being human.But I find it kinda sad
when the kids behaves better than I do...
wah!
LOL I find when I am a monster,
more creative thinking is in order.
Being a single parent,
I miss that other adult to balance me out.
Rose Petals.
I've just realized
that my son used to
always come play right beside me
(for a decade!),
and now he is more connected
with things that are not transportable,
like the computer, TV, and video games.
He is big on Technology Learning this year,
and I've needed to adjust to that.
I am finding/realizing that
I will feel happier with everything,
if I can bring my work to where he is.
And coincidentally, I seem more interested
in transportable handwork techniques!
Kind of a role reversal.
It's like they predicted-
you spend years pushing your kids away,
only to spend the rest of your life
chasing after them.
LOL
Now I've known that,
and really tried to enjoy
every moment of my child,
but I admit the boy energy,
& the growing up,
has at times really thrown me for a loop.
I'm really conscious
that I want to be right there,
and aware of our relating
as he goes through his teens.
This means a lot of creativity in our lives.
This is what we both seem to thrive on.
Him in his direction, and me in mine.
And if I can get him on the spinning wheel,
and he can get me to screen capture
a Super SMash Brothers Brawl,
then we can share our passions,
creativity and zest for life.
What more could one want? : )

When We Were Two

It's surprising how
when they get older
we don't take
as many pictures
of them
or with them

This will be a project
I will be focusing on
soon

I don't know
how many pictures
I have of him
when he was 12!

I am going
to be sure to have
lots of pictures
of him through
his teens!

He was so used to
that camera
around him
when he was younger
and it was so much
fun!

: )

oxygen mask

As my son grows older

things are different
I am different
he is so smart
so intuitive
so creative
he has learned
some of this from me
much of it he
was born with
we are very much
alike yet
we are different
when he was younger
I was so sensitive
to his needs
to making sure that
I was there for him
first
now
he is maturing
we both have interests
and passions
I must remember-
first the oxygen mask
for the mama-then we will
both thrive
and each be
who we
choose
as
we grow up
together.
: )

Listen

Recently my son said to me,
"it makes me so sad that you won't give me a minute to think.
i need a minute to think."

I felt like the thinnest sheet of ice crumbling,
and a beautiful rose blooming
in time lapsed photography
at the same time.


I want to remember this gift
for as long as I live.
xx